forecast for tonight is alcohol, low standards and poor decisions.
My mind says no, but my body says yes.
What does your body say about chlamydia?
just came on the shower curtain. sorry housekeeping.
Just had lapdance from stripper that had her 5th kid 28 hours earlier. A for work ethic.
So yeah she lost her virginity in a wheel chair with a broken pelvis. I'm still trying to figure out how I should feel about that.
I had to explain to the waiter that I'm not the DD because I can't drive, but as the Designated 'Make Sure No One Gets Roofied Or Hit By A Car On The Walk Home'-er, I should still get the free drinks.
She is screaming bc she thinks you jumped out the window...please show her you just went out for a smoke
You have a long distance relationship and I have a long distance snapchat sexting buddy. If that doesn't describe who we are as people then I don't know what does.
But I don't wanna live with them bc I need to be able to walk around naked and sex on any surface guilt free.
Stay away a while longer.
Still not sure if they're cops or strippers.
He showed me a picture of his family on Instagram and his dad was my Sugar Daddy. ABORT.
My first love was gay too, it's okay.
He stood up through the sunroof yelling "CHOCOLATE MILK BITCHESSSS!!!! YOU AIN'T WORTH SHIT NOW!!!" the sad part is he wasn't even drunk yet. I worry about him sometimes.
He knocked me over backwards in my chair. I had a beer in each hand. Didn't spill a drop.
You told me not to tell you found out you're pregnant..
Randomize
