ill give you a foot job if you come over before 4
drink some water, pull the trigger, get a bfast sandwich. Only good things.
READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
Just seen on a tshirt : "fake titties taste funny"
What kind of soap washes out shame, bad decisions, and whiskey?
Irish Spring?
last night he was wasted watching Entourage and changed everyone in his phone book to LLOYD!!!!
do you know how scary it is to wake up in a CATSCAN machine after a night of drinking?
She liked to slap me in the face while she was on top. All I can say is that big boobs can excuse a lot.
Now I get the fucking shakes every time I hear I'm Sexy And I Know It. Thanks, Captain Morgan.
Someone left their drag queen on my couch. On the plus side, he sure does know how to make a mean cup of coffee.
Not much. Some creepy guy on Grindr thinks he knows who I am and where I live. So I sent him to that place with jockstraps and bacon. Hope he has fun.
we got stoned then he started showing me how to make his penis look like a hamburger...if that's not true love idk what love is
This is my last chance to be the first person to fall off this roof.
I accidentally told my mom I broke my drug nail this weekend
Clearly the Stanley Cup Finals good luck hand job IS necessary. You let the whole team down.
Randomize
