It wouldn't matter if you are Jesus Christ himself, you are not getting into the bar tonight
i keep telling myself in the mirror "get undrunk"
Do you ever think God made girls unattractive around their periods as a warning?
he bonged a 1/5 of jack and came back an hour later blacked out with a legitimate chicago firemans helmet
when i'm drunk i think im just gonna point at him and yell adultery is a sinnnn. youre going to helllll
She dumped a fish bowl of alcohol on herself. Just like flash dance.
Good idea. You gotta take care of your vagina. She takes care of you. Pay it forward.
I was mixing candy canes and coors light and was in a great place.
Didn't get the job. Searched for my references on FB and saw the pic of me weighing my head passed out.
You told me "I need to pound this drinks if I'm going to pretend his dick is big enough" then left. Dollar night quotes 2012
Sometimes you just have to have sex for a Netflix password.
You can't just walk around stealing hats from drunk boys and peeing in bathtubs. Turn down.
Well at least ssomeone is or the state is tafing over ir in twligiob
I woke up naked and only wearing cowboy boots, wrapped in a curtain that was still attached to the pole
Drunk on wine at my parents house watching "RugRats In Paris". Comeatmeadulthood.
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