wanna go halves on a baby?
Dude you just kept yelling "She was my first asain!" right in front of her.
I just spent the last 30 minutes shaving my asshole.
is there an easy way to say "i didnt plan on sleeping with you until i saw how drunk you were" ?
Deffinety need to stop having sex on the beach just took a dump and it was mostly sand
Just shot my load on a stink bug. Thought you should know.
Couldn't get it up. She asked me what she was doing wrong. Didn't have the heart to tell her. I appreciated her willingness to adapt, but she's pretty much gonna look that bad her whole life.
Solid. Can't put a price on good times
You can and it's called a liver.
How do I enter a double puke and rally into my calorie counter?
I'm at some strange place in what feels like Mexico, high and getting tacos.
You carried me up the stairs after I told you not to. And what did you tell me? "Let me test my strengths."
I no longer believe that the road to self esteem is through his penis.
It was just a Craigslist hook up but she wore sweats. Where are the girls with class?
Idk... he wears anklets.. i dont think i can get past that.
If you're not my stylist, having sex with me, or agreeing to have sex with me don't fucking touch my hair.
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