I told my rommate that he was pissing on his bed. He said "ok man" and took a step backwards and continued. He then went back to bed.
should my penis look like a turkey
bottle of wine in one hand cigar in the other. 5 am. topless on our fire escape. and she cleaned our bathroom... i like his new girlfriend.
The goal for tonight is vagina. In and around. Doesn't matter who. How. Or why.
We won't have time to talk.. I'll be rolling you a blunt and you'll be getting naked.
Well his ex just grabbed his dick and told him yep Ill call u later
It was weird, because he kept shaking his head like he was motorboating me...but on my vagina.
Last night he ate BBQ Pringles out of my boobs...I feel like it was moderately productive
It's not even 6 am and I've already told my mom to fuck herself in the face
You thanked me for a delicious cock and tacos...
He kept referring to my giving him head as a new level in our relationship and acting sentimental
You gave him a bj, not a kidney
My six-margarita-deep ass just used a blow torch to light the match that lit my bong pack. Peak single 🤦ðŸ¼â€â™€ï¸
Nice classy night out before we roll our faces off
I'm pretty sure she tried to draw a self portrait out of her vomit. Then you tried to help, but passed out in the vomit.
Yo I'm lookin at the cows. They're just fucking docile things
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