what time did you get home last night?
SO late...when your in the lap of a 35 year old superstar you loose track of time
He said to me " i could be your father but i dont care"...it was so hott
I dont know whether to be proud of myself for not driving, or being proud that i was so messed up I couldnt drive
my mother just offered to pay for my fake id.
I'm sooo using this pickup line: "Baby, its not the 2.5 inches... Its the 200 pounds behind it"
if I see one grey pube I'm spitting his penis out!
By the way, her vagina was so tight i was worried that i would be stuck forever
My passouts and memory loss are great training for when I have alzheimers. You'll know where to look when I get lost.
At the time, making out with dudes for keg money seemed like a genius idea. Now I realize it was borderline prostitution.
He is so amazingly handsome. I just wanna fuck every shred of decency out of him.
Not sure I just ate a really big pot brownie, I feel like my future is uncertain
It's like hey here is one penis enjoy nothing but that for the rest of your life
Running across campus through Hurricane Sandy while hammered and in a slutty cowgirl costume obviously should be top priority tonight
We hooked up in his car and afterwards he cried. I think I need to find a new hookup...
I've made a single handle of rum last like three weeks and my mom hasn't even acknowledged it.
Hey Girl, we got home safe!
I know, I drove you
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