I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
the best part about being a teacher is there are always 20 little kids around me to blame my farts on
On a scale of one to Chris Brown, how angry are you?
yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
about to play the homeward bound drinking game. alone. what are you doing tonight?
then again I'm sitting on a tree stump completely naked in the dark listening to some type of glee soundtrack.
They normally just get fucked up and see who can hold their hand on the exhaust the longest. It's great
Jordan and I are drunk and barred out at the liquor store sitting in the awesome $70 Corona bench bargaining with the owner for a lower price, all while passing the Belvedere bottle between the two of us. Real life. College has down this.
I just high fived you brother at the bar then immediately realized my hands smell like your vagina
If I do nothing else today, the fact that I talked you into this is achievement in itself.
I have banged to "The Emperor's New Groove" way more than could possibly be reasonable.
This German chick looked me up and down for a while. Then she grabbed my crotch, let go after a few seconds, and said "you vill do". I think I'm gonna like tonight.
I got snowed in at my parent's. everyone's asleep so I'm smoking a joint in my old room and watching Tarzan on a 12" tv.
They must be so glad to have you home...
I still think he’s a fuckboy but he’s nice to me when I’m over.\nLike sets alarms for me in the morning and always makes sure I cum.
gonna stay in tonight
and im a platypus. shotgun a beer and get your dick to this party. ive got some hot friends visiting
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