filled out health questionnaire for lower premiums a little bit too honestly. Literally got assigned a life coach.
Yeah, you spent an hour in front of the mirror trying to reenact the Sailor Moon theme song.
I just realized I'm gonna get paid at midnight on New Years Eve. That could be dangerous.
Also just realized how inappropriate it looks to other drivers to finish bottles of cheap champagne at stoplights
i licked icing off his dick. in front of his sister.
They asked if I was about to puke and my response was to laugh and suddenly throw up. Continuing my asshole streak I kept laughing while still vomiting.
Who the hell poured a whole pouch of Capri Sun down my throat last night?
I'm so sorry man. Roger cartwheeled into a signpost and cut his face open. it was pretty messy so we all went into panic mode.
No it was the best sex I've had in months. Nothing turns me on more than getting rid of a boyfriend.
We are hot boxing the gondola
I hate everything.
Its not like i paid for sex. She was stuck there, we simply exchanged rides.
I want you inside of me and on top of me and under me and behind me
Basically I need you to be like god, just fucking everywhere
Coming straight to your house after the flight. If not in Federal Prison for disobeying peanut laws.
Can I just go naked and covered in glitter?
After drinking all day I popped an adderal, slammed three beers in a row, apparently told the bartender "thanks bitch" then ran on stage.
Randomize
