I really hope you get sexually violated by a pterodactyl tonight.
so for future reference,at what point did you feel like a line had been crossed?
the people next to us in line are buying a 12 pack and a snuggie
everytime she opens her mouth i wish that i was deaf
the pharmacist hit on me as i picked up my herpes medecine. i think we found a winner.
just saw the guy i hooked up with last nights' face on a billboard. win.
just did a beer bong in the shower while i was taking an actual shower its officially football time
The best revenge is living well. Or pooping in his sunroof. Either or
I got to see some gay bartender let a girl with daddy issues whip Travis in the balls with his own belt. Totally worth it.
Hooked up to multiple episodes of Even Stevens last night. What the fuck.
I wish my bank account would intervene on my life choices.. $200+ in alcohol in 2 weeks and a $40 McDonald's bill is a cry for help.
I know, but the fabulousness of my baggies should not be what defines my business as a drug dealer.
I just can't have sex in the car again. it's just too much
things i am: 1) still drunk 2) still wearing my leopard onesie 3) still gonna make my 9am lecture despite the odds CAN I GET A HIGH FIVE
I would never blame a unicorn for anything.....how dare you
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