Alex, there's no such thing as a fancy sex store.
we ran out of wine so you tried to make some by throwing grapes and nail polish remover in a blender.
She's grinding on a deaf black man and I'm the interpreter.
No big deal, we were just two friends having sex. It's perfectly normal we don't remember. Water under the sex bridge,
You walked in on me taking a shit and told me to hit the bong
She's laying here with her head in my lap stoned, eating Doritos, whining about her boyfriend, and listening to Cher. Fuck the friend zone.
I feel like they've probably fucked. Like.. you don't just bring a bitch a Big Mac if you haven't fucked her.
Cool. I might be making a sickly but incredibly well dressed wine drunk appearance in a couple hours
Its a holy bong. We had to bless the holy bong water.
Once you jizz in someones hat, you cant take it back.
I wish there was a morning after pill for dominoes.
Was it you I was with where I saw a guy open a beer with his butt?
I really don't know how I went from having a few drinks to waging war against ghosts in my apartment but here we are
went back to my college bar last night. Bar tender doesn't remember my name but remembers me as margarita girl...I'm not even mad though
I'm 22 and I'm drinking hawaiian punch from a sippy cup. Everything is right in the world.
Randomize
