i don't plan on having that self control this summer
All I remember is drinking vodka out of tupperware.
My mom just called and reminded me not to throw up in any cabs tonight. Happy St. Patty's Day.
You know what is really helpful - when the two guys you want to fuck stand next to each other. Stay tuned for who wins
You leave me no choice. Your vagina is grounded. It can just sit there and think about what it's done.
We woke up at 7:30am. We got a 30 rack, yelled at all the freshman shackers walkin back to their dorms, played a game of beer die, and boned all before 11:00am. I found my soulmate
It's because of weed that I don't mind driving an hour to visit my family. And it's because of you that there's weed in my life. Thank you.
its the first football sunday and my boyfriend isn't excited. this isn't gonna last unless he makes me snacks and brings me beer during the game.
Note to self. The tub labelled "not water" does not contain water.
My brain and heart say thanks but my vagina isn't super pleased with you right now
Congrats! Its a fuck boy!
Accidentally drunk dialed my mom last night. Started the conversation with "Where you at girl?"
Sometimes I look at dogs and just thing about how it's weird we both came from wolves
Lay off the drugs kid
slept at my ex’s house last night and as i was leaving his brother was sitting there on the sofa and said “bet you regret that one don’t ya”
I woke up with eight different shoes in my bed what the hell happened last night
Randomize
