Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
The cardboard box in my backseat wasn't strong enough to keep your pee contained. Come clean my car.
she just punched a dude and called him a peasant for not drinking fast enough in flip cup.
Tell me you didn't really piss in the hookah.
Just tell your mom you have to go somewhere half naked with a strange man. She'll understand
I wasn't vocally whispering "she wants to bite your dick off" about that kirsten girl was I?
Her family was right next to mine during christmas eve mass. Between the terrifying glares and her trying to set my sleeve on fire during the candle part I am VERY sure she knows im fucking her ex...
Holy shit last night was like the irresponsible Olympics for me
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. She asked how my day was going and it got hard.
I'd give anything to be driving a pirate ship wearing nothing but a coconut bra and a grass skirt eating a pizza and watching dolphins jump in the waves. Dreams ya gotta have dreams
He played with my nipples while singing "How great thou art"
Imagine how different my life would be if I could find a man who gave me more pleasure than pizza at 2am when I'm drunk.
I lost my virginity to Adventure Time. DO YOU NOT UNDERSTAND THE SIGNIFICANCE?!
He made me pay for half of dinner. Fucking feminist revolution.
The covid immunization shot lady also sold me a mondo bag of really good pot.
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