u think ur still drunk from last night? i just put the eggs in the freezer and the remote in the sink. I don't wanna fucking hear it.
he convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. he slurred every word. i think i found my prince charming.
I miss vodka workout Fridays
Two portable blenders. We are going to be popular and dangerous.
That's because "bed time" is my sex playlist. If you're trying to fall asleep use "nap time"
Oh my Christ. I just came so hard my penis stood back up and took a bow afterwards. I need Thai food.
Be there soon... with munchies, blow jobs and shoulder rubs.
It turns out tequila bombs is really code for straight shots of tequila…who would have guessed?
You kept going up to guys in plaid and screaming "are you a lumberjack" in their faces
Steve brought 6 joints and 2 bottles of makers mark, Josh shat himself in the pool, and Amy blew me. Hope that extra 3 dollars an hour for working overnights is still worth it.
I didn't know. I guess I really haven't had that much time for drinking lately. I mean, outside drinking at home/work.
come over. We can flirt with the criteria for substance abuse and talk about our daddy issues
I was about to google "rabies and sexual activity." Then I realized I was at work.
We need to leave a grand offering for the god of free booze and salvia.
Dont you look at me in that tone of voice
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