so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
well, tey weren't taking lap dances as payment today
I don't understand how people can have that much vomit in them
I hope the walls stop moving before my manager notices that i'm still drunk.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I almost caused an explosion; It's okay though. because everyone would have died having a good time.
Lucas & I had a photo shoot with her cape & I had child arm floaties on most the night.. woke up in a spiderman bed
Naw, the sex dungeon had to come down so we could build a nursery. Cause and effect really.
how many people can say they bit their tattoo off?
Thats why you dont have a "jubilant gunfire celebration"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm chasing my vodka with snickers.
I woke up the whole house screaming I need my shorts they found me in the kitchen with a bag of strawberries naked
I'm sorry you're hurting. Would a picture or my erect penis help?
Also epiphany: I gotta quit fucking with dudes that have never seen Harry Potter. They all turn out to be shitheads who probably eat honeydew.
FUCK ME I smuggled weed onto a plane by accident
the person she was housesitting for had a christmas card from charlie sheen on the fridge so we fucked on the couch and just slept in the bed
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