Crap im kindd 0f drunkk we just hooked up in a mcdonalds parking lot but i dont know why how we are here
He never called back after I emailed him my booty call contract.
People in love make me want to vomit
I like you better when you drink
I like you better when I drink too
ohhh my god. this party should be titled "my hookups of summers past" be expecting some good stories tomorrow
before tonight, i was terrified of what tequila would make me do. but all it did was make me hook up with a movie star. sooo basically tequila's my new fave
She went into the basement and sang to my cat for three hours....she actually has a beautiful voice....
I didn't think it was possible, but that girl next door is even louder when drunk.
I walked in her room to find her rubbing lotion on her face high as fuck.
I'm dressed in all sequins still at 9:30 in the morning and the worst part is that I actually still fit in in Vegas
I'm going to have to have a long talk with god if my soul mate has a prince albert
What the hell man, you basically stole my girlfriend with a bucket of KFC.
When I woke up next to him on the living room floor, my glasses were broken and it felt like someone rubbed a cactus all over my vag
I would professionally fuck the shit out of her
Fun fact. I just wrapped myself in wrapping paper for a sext. Is this a new high or a new low stay tuned.
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