We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
Lady GaGa only went backwards in convincing me she's not a man at the VMAs.
Just saw a girl i'm pretty sure is simultaneously jailbait and a milf. I never want to leave mexico.
If your dick isn't up when i get home you're catching tonight.
Jeff just maced a waitress...it's way too early for this.
His apology was sex and a subway sandwich. Strangely, I'm okay with that.
That girl next to you randomly said that she fits into a queen sized pillow case
WTF.
Seriously what kind of college town is this? Nobody parties during the week or abuses perscription drugs
I just blew my weed a kiss
The security deposit's gone, let's trash this motherfucker
he was spending his time trying to use emojis to court a 19 year old, I can’t really take that seriously no matter how hot a dude is
you're welcome to come here, except my beds from ikea so it's more unstable than i am
Just to clear things up, yes you did lick the strippers butt
Well, I have no idea where my underwear is, so yea I would say it was a good weekend.
He took a shit in my shoe. A part of me is livid and a part of me is impressed because that’s some real evil genius.
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