idk hes just been lookin at me weird all night
he probably just wants to cut your skin off and wear you like a body suit
you're dressed like that and you're on the rag, that's false advertisment
So can we just skip dinner and I'll just pay you for a blowjob?
Don't tempt me, I need beer money.
I think I just puked all over my comforter and my roomdmate won't wakt up to washc it for me
Dude i think i got lasagna in my eye
If we see one freshman that cummed on me, we are leaving.
You blinded her by spitting vodka in her eyes, the vodka you had just taken as a body shot off of her.
I just saw an appointment in my phone called "it's been a month" I think I drunkly did that after I slept with Paul to remind myself to check if I got knocked up... I'm smarter drunk than sober.
I flossed his teeth and then we had sex in the bathroom. It just seemed like a good idea.
My head feels like a nest made of hair and cum
So neither of us had a dollar bill and we couldnt find a straw so we spent all nite doing coke through penne pasta
You went to the animal party as a hoodrat. You won the most creative costume contest.
I did wake up to a random meat and cheese plate next to my bed, that was a thrill.
She turned off her phone alarm (which was the theme song to Star Wars) and then asked me if I wanted a blow job before she went...of course I am going to see her again.
all im saying is 27 is too old to still be drinking 40s, you make more money than me, buy some decent shit
screw you you golddigging beer snob
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