Just saw a maroon grand am stop on my street, the driver opened the door, vomited, and then drove away like nothing happened. Been there, done that.
Have you ever seen an entire lecture hall fist pump? It's magical.
You don't know the meaning of what the fuck until you wake up naked and alone in someone's bed staring at a dead squirrel on their dresser.
we went to sleep in different beds and woke up spooning. alcohol truly is the anti-cockblocker.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
its sad im about to start saving up for how drunk i need to be for the holidays
All I remember was endless tequila and pulling karate moves from 3 Ninjas Kick Back towards the guy at 7 Eleven. Explanation?
There was a cop outside the house so we just put the alcohol in this watermelon
I almost bumped into a man wrapped only in a blanket at 10 am
please remind me of this if i ever start out a night declaring my goal is to see how much american honey it takes for me to forget who i am again
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You told me you were with a dog dressed as a taco, and it was the only one you trusted
WHAT A DUMBASS ugh I'm so glad he looks like a middle aged dad now
In the officer's defense, I was indeed pantless at the time he cuffed me, but there's a perfectly good explanation.
Being an adult can't be all bad. I just took a vacation day solely to sit around and get stoned
All my friends are getting married and I'm pole dancing in a tattoo shop. I don't know how I feel about this.
They spent thousands on one day. You made $76 in 30 minutes. You should feel great about that.
So uh. Your future in porn. Would you be willing to wear an alien costume for it?
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