Forget about socially acceptable. Make me happy instead
you were so high that you made a 14 page PowerPoint on why Santa would beat Peter pan in a fight.
and I must say, you were very persuasive
Yeaaah, so cabbie laughed at me, and said, "rough nite? Let me find you some music" . apparently OPP is the appropriate ride of shame soundtrack.
i ordered 12 mcnuggets at mcdonalds and ended up getting 20. for free. miracles really do happen when your high.
Shaun got a portable breathalyzer for christmas so now we can tell who the biggest pussy is at the end of the night.
You started laughing mid-cry and when I asked you said, "my tears taste like vodka."
And he probably thinks I'm in love with him but after three shots of Patron you love anything
I had not one but two drunk coworkers text me and hit on me tonight. I feel like I've finally been accepted into my dysfunctional workplace
I wish they would just make alcoholic protein shakes already.
So how did it go?
I'm not sure if it was all the eggnog or all the alcohol, but hosting an eggnog pong tournament was a mistake.
"my nose is broken but I'm beer pong champ so it evens out really"
i just want to get drunk and cry and have sex with lots of men
so then the cop took one last hit off our blunt and then drove off in his car and we just all stood there thinking, yea... that just happened...
Sorry I missed your call earlier. I was getting high with my high school band teacher.
reminiscing on last night: why the fuck did I feel the need to stand on chairs everytime we took a jello shot?
Randomize
