Did you just see the Batmobile???
Canada just beat USA, the sad part they still need us to make money so who really won
Do you ever just look at me and get embarrassed?
i just woke up reverse cowgirl on my couch. fully clothed. my laptop is on the floor sideways. blasting gay porn and lady gaga. pizza crust everywhere. goodmorning.
It's like a bag of dicks covered in taint sweat pounding a pregnant baby walrus.
Met my future wife peeing in the men's room. I stood in for the missing door on the stall. We really hit it off talking about how her butt didn't even touch the seat from all the years of squat lifting in high school.
Yeah I fingered her in the crowd and the dj saw it and gave me props over the speakers. I got so many high fives.
First stoner thought of the day: Life would be so much better if there were more things that were biscuits and gravy flavored.
remember when I lost my virginity and said I could see myself becoming a sex addict?? Well I'm pretty sure that time has come
He was super adorable, like I wanna pinch his cheeks while I fuck him...
My cousin was arrested on a class b felony for selling meth out of the back door of McDonald's where he worked. Apparently it was the extra special sauce.
It was a career choice to be sure... Mistakes were made.
Kinda suprised you didn't immediately ask about the lesbian ghosts tho
the walk of shame isn't very shameful when your mom tells you she's proud of you.
Why don’t they have healthy alcohol yet?
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
Randomize
