do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
the only girl from my high schools graduating class coming to our school next year went stag to prom and still has braces...
dibs.
I love my bros weed
Im gonna hate it in like 20 mins though
he literally had a slideshow of all the girls hes had sex with pictures set to american woman
I'm at work, still drunk. Can you turn on the radio? If the station goes off the air I passed out. Can't get fired. Haven't slept yet.
Also just realized how inappropriate it looks to other drivers to finish bottles of cheap champagne at stoplights
i mean i should have known that when i started taking shots with my zumba instructor i was in for a rough night...
talk of her extensive whoreness has crossed oceans. thats impressive.
"Don't get as drunk as I was on my birthday" has been upgraded from a goal for Friday night to a goal for my life in general.
Took out half a tooth with a handle of jim beam last night. Apparently I can't walk and chug bourbon at the same time
I'm calling in my "fuck at anytime anywhere" card. Meet me at my place in 20 min, wear your Waldo costume.
I'm surprised they let us keep partying at that hotel bar, that's like the 3rd time I've had to try blocking the view of him peeing off the balcony. I earn my free drinks.
I can't handle dick pics with conversational captions
Well, I like big penises but it's not like he walks around with it out or anything so yes I think he has beautiful eyes
Woke up with a girls naked next to me I had her thong on somehow.
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