I could swear I did coke with Jesus last night
Just assessed the damage in the bath. Two love bites. One bruise on the inner thigh. Strange awareness of what i'm assuming is my cervix. I've definitely missed you. x
It was so good the neighbors even had a cigarette.
please stop yelling "ITS NARNIAAAAAAAAA" out of our window at the lone person walking home in the snow
He just showed me a video of his erect penis moving to the beet of the music when he was high, I think I'm in love.
Apparently my type is "guy whose parents had unprotected sex on Halloween". Last week was my ex's, my FWB's, and the guy I'm seeing's birthdays.
Definitely Got caught hugging a strangers tree last night with 5 others.
She was pouring Goldschlager in my mouth during the shower sex. How can you NOT like her?
Did I really make him pull over to give the homeless guy my bra?
had a dream you helped me fill my shoes with yogurt. we were even like "why didn't we think of this before?!" like it was just so obvious
that sounds like something we'd do... we're onto something here
Church parking lot, park bench, front porch. I think she's more comfortable going down on me in public. May have found the one.
Considering we almost incited a riot on behalf of LGBT rights I have to say that was the best time for our moral compass to turn south.
He lives 20 minutes away driving distance and decided to walk. I talked to him today and he took a nap along the way... In a cemetery.
Uber southern baptist grandma and uber flaming cousin just got into an argument about whether jesus is OK with gay marriage. Aren't these things only supposed to happen at Thanksgiving?
I often worry that if I get famous, people from my past will recognize me and start talking to the media
Randomize
