how do you clear previous safari searches on an iPhone? i asked my brother to google something for me and "big penis" "empire chinese food" and "reverse cowgirl" popped up.
I just had to explain to my father, how having two screens plugged into my computer doesn't use more internet.
He is like the real live version of the state fair..
I gave them both handjobs at the same time. Felt like I was skiing
Just found out I have to work new year's eve. It's like one final 'fuck you' from 2009.
just customized my debit card w a pic of me ralphing over the toilet. figure it'll give the bar keep a good cut off est and for shits n giggles when buying my handles at the liqour store
If there was a game called "keeping your legs shut," I would lose every time.
And I think short bridesmaids dresses are the best idea especially for bathroom sex
We shall study the pictures later and see if his penis is worth my time.
All in all only spent $2 at the bar ln... Fucking love having a vagina
I think I fell asleep on the dance floor at one point...but played it off cool and acted like I just did the robot.
I walked in on him jerking it to videos of UFC fighters. The most awkward part: he didn't stop when I walked in.
Hey do you remember me?
You were the giant banana I had sex with... how could i forget?
Grandma cant send me 4 lbs of gummi bears and expect me not to soak them in some sort of alcohol
Ok fell asleep on a bus in south Carolina just woke up in Canada where the hell is the liquor store from here?!
Randomize
