I'm towing my little brother down the road on a sixty year old tractor, we're taking up the whole highway, and no one cares. I love South Dakota.
she said it was ok for her to take her top off in the hot tub but she didn't take off her bottoms because that would be slutty
i feel like god sat there all night pointing and laughing at me
There's a big bag of salt and vinegar chips and a Budweiser for when you wake up. Don't say I never did anything for you.
I almost got away with it until she smelled beer on the stroller.
...then she kept trying to make balloon animals with my flacid penis. I'm never drinking whisky with you again.
I am in macy's and just straight up heard an old lady taking a crap in her depends.
I think being an adult is being able to say no to free shots...I need to work on that.
I'm spoon feeding myself tequila for breakfast, should we skip class today?
i want to be friends with one of those mini shredded wheat men.
Im going..... Drinking all day and hand jobs from 18yr old emo rich girls that are just trying to get back at mom and dad for being to protective...SOLD
Its a first. Never been peed on in a line to concert. First time for everything.
She kept telling me it was a squirtgun.
i have an important question...can you drink in jail?
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
She is getting high and watching the Hobbit. I want her life.
So she is basically watching her own life story: short people traveling to strange places.
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