my boss just made his own remix to aaron carter's i want candy. i cant decide if its the funniest or most embarrassing thing ive seen
why do they call them blowjobs? ....unless i'm doing it wrong?
you ever wonder how lesbians feel about girls being in relationships with other girls on facebook? could it annoy them more than it annoys me?
she was sobbing drunk in the backseat about her dead cat and how the guy in the front seat didn't want to hook up with her
I just realized I have yet to puke in your new apartment. Clearly we're doing something wrong. On my way over with Cuervo as I type.
Someone in a vagina costume on campus.
Holy christ fuck what has my trainwreck of a life come to just blew a 17 year old so help me god
I think he's speaking German to me now
Nevermind, he's just drunk and not texting properly
University has ruined us all. I just had to clarify the last time I had sex as "No, not at the party we crawled home from in the snow. It was the one where you puked off the balcony and hit the barbecue."
Stoned in some guys basement listening to ELO. it's like its 1978.
A dry HJ only, please. I don't deserve the comforts of lube after my horrendous fantasy football performance
Ive already seen two fights and a clown urinating in the middle of the street. Hello Halloween 2014.
Apparently 24 hr fitness frowns upon the ingestion of psychedelics on its premises, don't see that in the sign up contract.
I have no clue how you survived last night but I applaud you. 21 body shots off 9 bodies in under four hours has to be a record.
One minute we're singing Wagon Wheel, and the next you're belly dancing in a trash bag on the beer pong table
Randomize
