Please, let me fuck your mom
So I purposely left a bunch of metal in my pockets so that the smokin hot TSA officer would give me a pat down. Airport security just got fun
I just smoked my last bit of kief with a grill lighter. This is what crackheads must feel like.
You've eaten a Lean Pocket for every meal for at LEAST 3 days now. Get your life in line.
Its like a relationship where they cockblock each other.
Well if were past the bullshitting stage yes if not then no I'm not that kind of guy
I don't mean to insult you, but did you leave your training bra in my bedroom last night?
Does he cat effect his dick pics to you? Because THAT is true love
His hands kept asking for sex, but all I could think was "dude, this is going to ruin my high".
Seriously though, passing out on the police station floor must have been priceless!
You ask too many questions when I'm blowing you. You're like a dentist asking how my day has been during a cleaning.
I need a life alert for his random dick pics. My heart can't handle that.
there’s plenty of nice guys out there with good jobs and NO felonies!
I have no idea what to do with myself since we graduated.
I've just been napping and sexting all day.
I am downtown smoking a joint with Woody Harrelson...Because our car won't start. I will be there as soon as I can.
Randomize
