Why did you take off so early
No more beer. And also. Threesome. Maybe. Ill let you know.
It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
We were tigers and tigers don't wear pants
Is there any way to un-invite somebody to a wedding? I just checked out the other family, and I can't have a cockblock there.
That sucks. I just talked to a telemarketer for 15 minutes about CSI: Miami and weed.
i lost his rear view mirror, your phone charger, and my lesbian virginity. 21 isn't shaping up too well so far.
But he made me breakfast and understands the fuck sleep fuck sleep necessities
I guess I realized I had a problem when I ordered 4 shots and told the bar wench to pour them all into 1 glass
she came back from her house with A paper cut , a 2liter of sprite with Bacardi , and half a mustache . we're inviting her more ofte
You continued to run around saying "free the nipple" while "taste testing" every liquor on the premises.
I feel like I beer bonged a ton of asbestos
Chick in the reindeer getup puked on Baby Jesus last night. But then she bought us all empanadas so she's cool.
This feels more like a conference of all the people I've fucked in the past year.
Just had a customer call his drug dealer in front of me but act like it was normal call.
Idk I think he's weird but he's also from Wisconsin so that might have something to do with it.
Randomize
