I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
I would like to thank collapsed soviet republics and fathers who didnt show enough attention for tonight's festivities
We probably shouldn't have forced that guys cat to drink the grey goose while we were doing lines in his bathroom
i dont care. it has been a 14 hour day, and we are all celebrating by alternating shots and grilled cheese.
I just found out I lost my virginity the same day my parents did, 25 years later. This is my life.
He licked the chalk off his shirt, then spat the Mountain Dew from his mouth onto the shirt and sucked on it. And thats him sober.
I just tipped the cab driver with pistachio nuts. And he loved it.
A "Tom-vomit" is when you puke but cough as it comes up, so you close you mouth as a natural reaction and the vomit is jet-propelled out your noise.
We mailed him an 18 inch double headed dildo for his birthday. The Fedex guys certainly got a laugh out of it.
You christened everyone with a powdered doughnut and then tried to absorb vodka with your nipple.
her wearing orange crocs at the bar was definitely a great form of contraception
Just do it. I grew some lady balls and did it last year. It's your turn. Time to show what you're made of. Hit it or quit it.
They left around 10:00 this morning. I've been naked since 10:01.
I have mastered the art of having sex on monkey bars.
Just puked most of my soul out..
Randomize
