so he went down on me and i thought i heard him say "you're smelly" to my vagina
i got awkward and finally asked him what he said
he actually said "you want some dick?" to my vagina. which is worse? either way he's talking to it
You know how I told you I don't have many naked pics? Apparently that changed last night.
How was I supposed to know she would get offended when I asked her how long it took to draw on her eyebrows.
Well, what part of "I've heard she has crabs" didn't you take into consideration?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?
I think he's on the stoner protein diet. I just saw him, at 3 am, spreading mayo on a slice of deli ham and sprinkling salt on top.
only you would end up drunk at a subway with a one-eyed homeless man
I have reverted to folding laundry while watching porn. how much sadder can my life get?
started my period, we have to try again next week
if we have anymore sex before that my dick is gonna fall off. that is in no way a complaint
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Vodka tonic time....wish me luck!
Go for it my man. I'm saving my shit show night for tomorrow. Gonna make it a big one just to let the entire bar know why I'm single
Yeah, he's passed out in my bathroom pantsless. Is it a faux pas to look at his penis?
Today is my 3 year wedding anniversary...and I've seen three different dicks.
chicken nuggets make me a bit homicidal
FUCKIN BIRDS ARE CHIRPING AT 4 IN THE MORNING. THE SUN ISN'T RISING YET MOTHERFUCKERS, GO BACK TO YOUR NESTS.
Dude. All I know is that I woke up on the floor with two naked chicks who don't speak English.
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