I just came out of my doctor's office and i look into the window and i see a guy sitting in the front seat getting head.
why are you so shocked? you live in brooklyn.
Say something about gay babies.
I swear ... this hickey is a map to Amelia Earhart's whereabouts
I wanna get FUCKED up and fail the piss test at my eval so they send me to detox and give me suboxone... Is that bad?
I'm babysitting and we're watching Barney and I don't understand why Barney can magically make band hats appear but he makes them make shitty ass instruments.
Barney's a jerk
in mid cry she says "I can be a whore if I want to"
Finally considering to keep my landing strip before I have sex.. I feel like It makes me look mature.
You defs just slept for 6 hours in a porta pottie. You should probably just kill yourself.
Please tell me that's his leg and you didn't really just send me a picture of your dog's dick
Had sex with him again...yikes. and the whole time he kept saying "i wish we could do this forever." Forever lasted about 45 seconds
hell hath no fury like a questionably-gay best friend scorned
Note to self; if you can light it on fire, you probs shouldn't drink it
He started making out with my boobs. I didn't know whether to be proud of my boobs or ashamed of my mouth.
How is your new roommate working out
We are drinking at the laundromat. And will probably have sex later. So...pretty good.
how much boxed wine can one drink before work in a couple of hours?
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