how was your day?
fuck the small talk. are you bringing the liquor tonight or am i?
Apparently I did my philosophy paper last night. It's not bad either.
i spent 45 minuets spilling my heart out to him telling him i was in love with this other guy sorry. when i was done he asked me to give him a blow job. i did. i have commitment problems
Let's go free Charlie Sheen and party with him
When boys buy condoms it makes me feel proud of their mothers for doing a good job
He's going to let me keep his bowl in my car. Does that make us Facebook official?
It wasn't good. I can tell by the way he fucks me he watched too much porn
Poking every semi-decent guy on Facebook in the hopes that one of them will want to hook up with me tonight. So far all i've accomplished is 5 new poke wars which i will most certainly continue after this weekend.
So heartbroken my rebound has a rebound
Yeah play it cool maybe put in a kissy face though let him know you're giving an invitation for his dick
We fucked so hard and loud that the everyone at the party downstairs starting chanting his name. Oh I we broke a lamp.
One of my interns found me on Grindr. I'm really gonna make him earn the absurd amount of money I pay him.
You know it's a pretty bad night when an injured penis is not the worst thing that happened to you. Fuck tequila
If you can give me an orgasm, you'll get a trophy.
What better than a girl who loves jager, sexts like a champ and is down for t-bell at any hours of the night? oh wait, NOTHING.
Randomize
