Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
he was so hot that i framed the used condom. it's not trash, it's art.
Please tell me how I woke up out in the middle of nowhere wearing nothing but a hard hat and a man thong?
Car fucking is for special occasions like birthdays and bank holidays. Don't want to lose the magic by making it an everyday thing.
I just told you I can't. My fingers are melting. I have discovered the high.
Looks like a significant portion of my drinking money just became legal fees.
I chugged a beer while I was riding him and he told me it was the sexiest thing he has ever seen. this guy knows class when he sees it.
Am I the only one that feels like there are hundreds of tiny people having a rave and stomping and kicking around inside my head this morning?
Ummmm you know you're drinking vodka out of a Skittles bag, right?
WHY DID YOU INVITE ALEX?!?
Because she offered to bring a keg.
And also because you fucked her in an alley last week and I'm trying to be a good friend.
can i get licensed in dentistry online like a priest
I mean seriously with your cock and my tits combined we could rule the world. Pinky and the brain style
I love you as a roommate, but you GOTTA start using the door dude..
You kept telling everyone that you were as sober as a camel. I have yet to figure out what that means
If wanting to text you my feelings after three mojitos is wrong I don't wanna be right.
Randomize
