I saw him at work today and he gave me a really awkward "I know what you do drunk" look...
he urdandictionary'ed 'tease' on his phone and made me read through all the definitions. Am i really that bad?
You slept in the bed with him... with your top off.... and just made out with him....
Lesbian sex in an alleyway drunk.
Is this like a "I'm taking you out to dinner and treating you with respect" kind of date, or is this a "I'm gonna fill you with alcohol and cheese and stuff my dick in your anus" kind of date?
Because its Monday... And I'm determined to just be drunk for the rest of the semester
So question... If I'm sexting with uncircumcised guy, do I have to add *then i gently pull your foreskin down*?
Plus he stuck it in when you were sleeping which would have been the tipping point for me but you art school kids are all liberal and shit
This guy has a theme song for the joints he rolls
No more house parties. We're almost fucking 30 years old and I slept until 6 pm.
My stuff that was at your place last night smells like doughnuts. I'm not even mad.
My little brother came home while I was sitting there icing my vagina with a bag of peas. Asshole looks at me, high fives Ryan, then leaves.
Is it a bad thing for a seven year old to call one an alcoholic? Asking for a friend..
All I want is a hot dog on a Saturday at 2:19 is that to much to ask?!
I mean, if you want to light yourself on fire for maximum accuracy, far be it from me to stop you
Fuck you. All I remember from last night is telling random people that I'm in a "judgement free zone" then I threw up
Randomize
