the ugly redhead just came into the bar, wearing a sombrero...by herself... who is going to tell her that its not cool to throw themed parties when you're the only guest?
I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
Hey I never found my wallet but i did find a bag of 14 soft taco supremes
I have your wallet. Trade you for the tacos.
someone needs to get her out of the garbage can shes never gonna forgive us for this
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
one of them held the wheel while the other one changed her pants. while driving. on the thruway. what
Does it count if I'm only ambidextrous while masturbating?
He was crying because he hiccuped every time he kissed me. We then crawled to the kitchen because neither of us could stand, and I spoon-fed him peanut butter "to cure his ailment."
And then you proceeded to sneak behind thee bar and hold up an empty bottle of vodka and scream LOOK WHO THE BARTENDER IS NOW BITCH!
Welcome to the first annual slutathon and let the men be ever in our favor
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yesterday I dumped him, went out for my birthday, hooked up with someone else, and today he still fed my cat. Living with your ex ain't so bad . . .
the guy I've been trying to get with saw my brother's genitals before he saw mine, so that's my life.
and it's like......my shirt is off and he's talking about quidditch. why.
I even put my vibrators back in the bedroom instead of the coffee table. If that's not growing up then I don't know what is.
You ran up to my room. I was naked. You refused to leave without drugs. I love you.
I’m going to lick a fucking door knob when this shit is all over
Probably Waffle House
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