Well, I fucked her. But the sex wasn't all that great. Morning sex never is
the three of them together have enough kids to fill a barney live audience.
Our adventure is going to pick up his pipe and weed that he ditched when he got pulled over the other day.
HOT DATE.
does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
That's the last time I do shots near a campfire.
Afraid I'm about to get arrested. Complicated situation but not a joke. If I do not text again that all is clear within 90 minutes kindly begin bail process. I have the cash to repay as soon as I get home. Details later.
20 bottles of wine, 3 cases or beer, and 5 bottles in my kitchen... My parents are teasing me.
He woke me up for a 10am bootycall. he was already drunk when he got here and when we were fucking, bagpipes started playing amazing grace outside of my window!! I love Boston on st. Patties day!!
I've decided to dedicate my life to finding out which flavor of Gatorade tastes best after you brush your teeth
Tequila, beer, rum, gin, and vodka all mixed in my body last night. The whole "never turn down free booze" is catching up to me. Hungover = understatement of the year.
He fucking took my shirt off and didn't even touch my boobs. What the actual fuck.
also new logic of mine : I fuck a Scottish kid , Scotland national animal is a Unicorn airgo I've come close to fucking a unicorns descendent, mother always said dreams come true
I need you to be best friend brutally honest about whether or not I can go into public like this.
The cop looked me right in the eye and apologized for cock blocking me.
If you need me I'll be getting drunk in a chewbacca onsie like a real adult.
Randomize
