Taylor Swift is so right about you.
I'm smoking weed out of a trumpet
I just did a slip and slide down the hall way of my apartment building
Tie
on a scale of 1-10how much freaking out is acceptable if you just found a (possibly used) cock ring in the head board that your parents gave you?
Her boobs looked like leather oven mitts. No more cougar hunting for awhile.
I don't care. He smelled like a fucking chilli cookoff
The worst part of it is that he's not the first man I've fucked with 2+ chihuahua's.
Yeah got a self inflicted broken nose.
Of course the bar would go completely silent right as I yell out "I don't have AIDS"
this dude just showed up to the party with a falcon
this is terrible I feel like i'm trapped in a cage with a wild republican
We have a nice shopping list..vibrators and roller blades
Priorities
I was so drunk that I passed out before I could do or say anything I'd regret. My low alcohol tolerance is like a guardian angel.
Update: that felon in Georgia I slept with is now a police officer. What a wonderful world
I'm not sure. But he has a pet sugar glider. So, points either way
As long as that's not his name for his dick.
Full body rubs, head scratches, foot rubs, massages, a penis that is able to get hard whenever you want it. I mean ive got a lot to offer
Randomize
