What's the politest way to tell someone that you're only interested in them when they're naked, and even then it's just like a passing "meh?"
walking on gravel proved too much for her barefeet so she traded her bra for some guys sneakers.
He asked if I wanted to blow his flute? Please call me and pretend there is a family emergency!!!
I drowning out her crying with songs from the Beatles it's good for us both. She relives her 30s and i dont have to hear her cry
No see this is how It goes: guys will fuck virgin girls. But girls don't really want to fuck virgin guys. So you're good have no fear.
all of your clothes are in the front law. btw..sprinklers go on in 20 minutes
apparently they wrote a song entitled "butt slut" about her... im thinking shes not girlfriend material.
Dude. Apparently I just smoked some stuff that's used for Nigerian spirit quests.
We found you naked curled up in a ball in the closet, using a gorilla suit as a blanket
Apparently I tried to convince him to sleep with me by showing him that I could do dips....
You do realize how pathetic it is when the woman who does your bikini waxes has seen your vagina more than I have
Neat. I'm thinking about growing a handlebar muffstache. What are your thoughts on this?
Dude. Where are you? There's a hot chick drunkenly dancing on the bar and aggressively taking shots to Pink songs. She looks like she needs a rebound. Get. Here. Now.
FUCK NYC TRAFFIC.
He just went to a job interview a sharpie moustache drawn on his face..
Not to be hella graphic on main but I just came so hard I think I saw a new color.
Randomize
