and pubic hair rears its ugly head again
You were so drunk you tried to sell your salsa to everyone on the restaurant.
i told her that i loved her pillow breasts and then she asked me if i wanted to motor boat them. so yea, i do need the room tonite.
she literally pooped in the closet. i sent the picture to everyone i know.
i almost set my kitchen on fire last night. homecoming week is getting the best of me
I just dumped out my gym water bottle and filled it with white wine. This is the end.
He ate me out like a beaver on a tree. I've never been so scared in my life
I'm so lazy and tired i just want to cry and fall asleep in a bed of egg mcmuffins.
He started tongueing his parfait and told "thats what I'd to your ass" in the middle of Starbucks. Of course i brought him home
Um went out in San Francisco last night and ignored someone hitting on me. So they bit my arm. Lmfao PLEASE TELL ME THIS ISNT THE SINGLE LIFE
They way I see it is I've wasted 7 years of having these glorious tits. I only have about 3 good years left before idk kids or just gravity takes over and they don't look this nice so it's basically open season.
He sent me a dick pic for every page I had to write for final papers (87) & brought me adderall. Tell me that isn't romance.
I had to give myself a suppository. That was the LEAST fun I've had inserting things in my ass.
I really need to stop having sex.. I haven't been able to get a brush through the back of my hair for a good week and a half
screwing the intern at work sucks when u find out the boss is too. She is a smoking hot though
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