Why didn't you tell me that Dad was a registered sex offender?
We were going to tell you eventually, how'd you find out?
Our school resource officer showed us how to use Family Watchdog and pulled up his picture.
im pretty sure all they do is fuck. and talk in baby talk. its two babys fucking basically.
We have video of him nailing the sex doll to my wall and putting all the monopoly pieces in her nose
Forgot to mention...Pamela Anderson has HPV, so i feel like im in good company
In all fairness I didnt see your dick because it was already in her
We were thinking he might be gay. Like how the fuck do you not even make out with a girl that made you a grilled cheese
Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.
I just contemplated drinking cheese dip. And by "contemplated," I mean "attempted and was forcibly stopped from."
MAN I GOT NO SLEEP AND HAD A BREAKFAST OF SKITTLES AND ASPIRIN. I'M LIVING THE LIFE.
I'm not going to be your wingman while you are in the hospital.
I'LL COME GET YOU. GOTTA FIND A SUIT THAT COVERS TIT BRUISES FIRST.
I woke up to Dragon Ball Z playing in Portuguese and a donut shish-kebab~ed on a dick in my face.
I shouldn't have to tell you to stop throwing knives at me.
It's done, I'm done, goodbye veneer of class and dignity it was nice knowing you
The streets are paved with hand jobs
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