my friend just told me "I dunno what u r doing but keep doing it cuz it makes u look fabulous"
LOL that's cool. Guess u r gonna have to keep doing me
he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
we need to drink 2009 down the drain
So I was gonna stay in tonight but the president got me motivated! I will not quit. Bars here I come.
yes he's amazing in bed. he made me like, black out. everything went black it was weird. so yes, i'd fuck him again. plus, he has every season of buffy on dvd
I just took a shit in a BP station. It seemed appropriate since they are shtting in our ocean.
Remember when I was so high that I thought my appendix burst? All I had to do was fart man, just fart.
Now that I'm born again, I'm preserving my gift.
Your vagina isn't a White Elephant gift. You can't re-wrap it after it's already been given several times. That's white trash thinking.
All three shower stalls were filled with couples fucking and then someone yelled "switch" and... We switched
I like the wholesome side of you
I'm so goddamned horny I could use all my pent up energy to tear a redwood out by its roots.
I can get there in 20, one question, Drress Code? Stripper Lite (make up may require an additional 5-10 minutes), Suggestive Professor (professor Kamil's cleavage ain't got nothing on me), Daywear, Dyke (and trust me you ain't seen dyke), or Exactly What I'm Wearing Right Now. (all of the above may arrive under a coat and are subject to my level of sobriety. Which is currently like nonexistent).--xoxo you know you love me, Gossip Girl.
You get 5 min
Your time limits don't scare me, I'll include foreplay and redressing in that 5 min. If you wanted to challenge me you should say you got an hour, id be scared then and more creative.
You thought you were Snapchating on your tablet, but were really just poking John Stamos' face on my Full House dvd case...
I got a lap dance in honor of your birthday last night.
Thank you.
theres a video...
oh god.
I want to shoot him sideways (so he can still breathe) in the Adam's apple with my little crossbow.
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