You know that bakery that Sandra Bullock's sister owns?
The one in Montpelier?
yeah, well it doesn't exist anymore. VT's one fucking claim to fame closed.
all the douches that like ed hardy are the same douches that were obsessed with lisa frank
the last thing i remember was trying to convince him to call over his girlfriend so we could have a threesome
there's a wings menu taped to my wall. don't tell me i don't have my priorities straight.
Excellent idea. Nothing says "congrats for resurrecting yourself, Jesus" like Greygoose at noon!
Did you see the video of me eating a marshmellow on fire?
So this bar tattoo not looking that great now
I just ate cottage cheese and went to the gym at 6 this morning...the things i'll do because I might get naked in front of a new boy
Just so you know, I woke up with 2 oven mits in my bed and no clothes on.
he pissed the bed, like I literally woke up and he was pissing right beside me. With the electric blanket he's lucky he didn't get electrocuted
I think the sex rug burn on my back is infected, can you check it out when you get home?
Nothing says responsible like taking your birth control with an open bottle of wine you left on your night stand from the night before
She wants to have a threesome with Taylor Swift. I think this is the kind of love my grandparents spoke of.
Alternately I could tell him western classical is just a series of events that had to happen for music to reach the point where Beyoncé was able to pen drunk in love, which is the pinnacle of humanity's artistic achievement thus far
The people around me on the bus dont know im wearing glowsticks under my clothes. I feel like a super hero.
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