I dont know whether to be proud of myself for not driving, or being proud that i was so messed up I couldnt drive
you screamed 'he won't go on a date with me, but he gave me a free junior chicken'
well imagine, me dating the manager equals free junior chickens for everyone
I've walk of shamed through this apartment complex so many times, I think people think I live here.
On an unrelated note: I'm also a big advocate of the "never waste a boner" theory.
will barter weed for kareoke machine...
You are so lucky that drugs are going to kill you before I do.
There's a man in a pumpkin/reaper outfit advertising a new head shop outside the Taco Bell. I love this town.
I woke up to 76 pages of e's, r's, d's, and f's from when I fell asleep for 3 hours on my laptop keyboard trying to write that paper.
Which I'm also surprisingly fine with. If he walked into the bedroom naked, holding a fish in one hand and a lit candle in the other and said "Let's get fucking weird." I'd probably go with it. He's just that hot.
So I just stirred my shower drink with my razor.
I'm not going to ask which end you used.
It's been awhile, you pregnant yet?
He deserves someone who will touch his penis at 3 a.m.
Was it you that ate my bacon or do I have to rip my roommate's face off?
JB just got pulled over and I am in the trunk...... this isnt good
I have a mailbox and I don't know why.
Randomize
