so he just left - touched my cheek like he was gona kiss me and then gave me a fist bump?
just bought a 30 and sold it for $2 a can to some dumb ass high school kids. now lets buy two and get really drunk
im contemplating emailing my dad and telling him how worthless i am and how sorry i am that he pays for my life...aka my bar tabs.
mid puke you looked up at me and asked if it was your turn to sing
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You promised me a handle of vodka if I took home her ugly friend. Thanks to law class I took for the 2nd time I know that's a unilateral contract asshole
I guess it was to be expected that I was put on somebody's list called penis socket.
Cops on bikes. I think I can outrun them.
I just sent him 3 long ass texts about how to tell a girl how he feels. I should get a fucking friend zone medal.
I will make you one.
Good. It needs "forever alone" engraved on it
She said I had a really great aura. Which I think is hippie code for "I bet you can give me a mind melting orgasm"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you were angry and didn't have anything else to throw so you threw a breakfast burrito...?
I found where he bartends and I guarantee you that in approximately nine months from this Friday, you will have a niece
New drinking game, drink every time Rhianna says "Work" in her new song.
Being home for break is weird, just had a full convo with my dad about what I wanted for dinner, while a dildo was on top of me under my comforter
I told him I was studying his body for art, so now I have to actually do a drawing of him to not look like a creep and so we can hook up again.
Ah you cut my boxers off with scissors, we're way past introductions
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