The old saying is "its not the size of the boat-- but the motion of the ocean" is obviously for those on the "Small side." I am of the belief that "You can't churn butter with a toothpick"
It's sad really how 5 am brings with it a distinction from drunken to pathetic.
i'm pretty sure i'm on the same train we took last friday..
what?how do you know?
it appears they have not cleaned up your vomit yet.
if you lined all their dicks up next to eachother, it would be like at&t bars
And it just wouldn't be a Thursday night without me having to cuss out a foreigner. The streak continues.
You've got the short couch unless you find some girl to take you home
Challenge accepted.
so apparently going to a christian rock concert dressed as Jesus is horribly inappropriate.
I enjoy it and I rock at it. I wish there were a respectable way to make giving blow jobs a career.
also had sex in his sister's princess style bunk bed.
but you are a princess that one was appropriate.
Soooo we should kick it sometime when it's like light outside. Drink outta cups.. Be bitches. 7, 6, 3, 5.. 4, 2, 1... Sschhkiddaellladiieessscchk
I smoked my last bong as the sun rose. It was magical.
It's pretty self explanatory. You tried to have sex on the hood of a car in front of everyone
I also tried to hide a bottle of vodka in a build a bear last night so that something that happened in my life
I just woke up in his bed.. in a cardboard castle, with a Justin Bieber poster on the ceiling staring down at me, cuddling with 4 empty PBR cans. I win.
I have betrayed my no carb ways & I can feel it.
Embrace it. Come over to the dark side. I'll feed you muffins while stroking your hair.
Randomize
