Don't come here someone got drunk and rolled the keg to buger king. no more beeer
yeah. you were just sitting there watching transformers, caressing your toaster.
I'M GETTING MARRIED!
YOU'RE STILL MARRIED!
he threw up all over himself while laying down.. it was like watching old faithful, but with noodles and vodka
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
cliffnotes. writing studyguide on last pack of smokes. glad this semester is over.
Struggs. It's also 90 degrees out but I'm not sure I can feel heat or cold any more. Too hungover.
It's like he's trying to get head in every car except his.
I've started making all these amazing things...like bananas rolled in doritos..bandritos.
P.S. I just watched The Muppets. I feel like I just got a sadness enema.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just ate tuna on a frozen waffle because we were out of bread.
This is why you don't have nice things.
I seriously think the toilet is the cleanest thing in their house. At least if I have to worry its not about that.
I had him autograph the condom wrapper.
i repeatedly had to ask him if he was into this because he kept talking about random things while i jerked him off. i got annoyed and in order to annoy him back, i told him i wanted to watch him do it. he also talked about basketball WHILE cumming. NEVER AGAIN.
You kidnapped her dog. I don't care that you and the dog are epic bros, that's just not cool. Return him.
eveytime i go to his house my cute clothes always get taken off what's the point of even wearing them there?
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