could you grab mr moo while you're at his apt?
you brought your stuffed animal to a booty call?
his mom and I have the same butterfly tramp stamp. don't ask how that came up
she left out the fact that she had a kid until she told me not to suck on her tits too hard or milk would come out.
I'm using my ex boyfriends dog to find a guy at the park I could see fuck buddy potential in. I'm the queen of irony.
Oh, I forgot to ask if u have any idea what happened to the back of my ear and if u were present when I almost fell off the roof...
YOU STOLE THE WEDDING CAKE?!?!
Only one tier
Tastes like cardboard anyway
My penis just literally said "Yaaaaaay!!!" It's the first time it's spoken out loud. Before this we could only communicate through rudimentary sign language
By the way seagulls wings are very soft. And the lesbian and or by sexual twins say hello. Be home in the little bit time frame.
Every time he asks me if I'm horny I'm just like come on...stupid question
I'm not entirely sure that the guy that just texted me is not on drugs right now. I'm also not entirely sure that he isn't about to be incarcerated.
It was like in the Christmas carol when the guy pulls his robe back and 2 small children appear... except this time it was a massive scrotum
Nope. Turns put my desperate group message for sex didn't work out.
Well you sent it to two guys who were roommates.
They could have rock paper scissored for it. My vagina = the prize.
I've decided to give up hard drugs for the rest of the year.
Which president had the biggest dick?
Take your time, I'll wait
The body is still out there. I don't think my trainer realized when he asked me not to drink for 24 days, how often I see dead people
Randomize
