He said he was from Mississippi and my vagina clamped shut like a frightened oyster
Should I shave my pubes in the shape of a top hat so I can nickname my junk Abe Lincoln?
There is only so much cookie dough and masturbating I can handle in one night.
I just jerked it so loud the neighbor banged on their floor. maybe my wife got the point
My vagina senses are tingling. I know your here.
It felt like he was juggling my kidneys with the head of his penis... If you could even call it that, it was more like a lochness monster. Huge and mythical.
your cat followed me a mile away from your house. if it doesn't come back, i'm sorry, but I needed to get laid tonight.
multitasking: i'm now sitting up and smoking my joint.
Every time I start to think he's just not worth the trouble, he puts his face down there and I wanna buy him a car
When he breaks your heart after he reveals he's gay, I'll be there for you. -Love, Dad
WE HAVE WINE WHERE ARE YOU GUYS WE ARE BY THE GIANT EAGLE
MY HAND WILL BE UP HIS ASS IF HE DOES NOT APOLOGIZE FOR WHAT HE DID. IT WON'T BE THE GOOD-FEELING KIND OF "HAND-UP-ASS" EITHER.
Sorry about you walking in on the whole nude kinect dancing. The new roomie was drunk and naked and told us he was either over dressed or we were under dressed for the party. And Amy figured it would be easier to join him than it would be to dress him
Im drunk taking pregnancy tests with this really hot girl...i dont know what is happening
I've started recycling nudes. Why should I take new pictures for every single man?
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