it was worse than that time i tried giving evan head 4 days post nose job.
i am only reminding you that showing off your fellatio skills on vegetables is probably not an appropriate party trick
due to concerns over safety, the theme of the 'naked fondue party' has now been changed to the 'naked fondue party with optional apron' please b.y.o.apron. extra prizes for most creative apron.
i don't even specifically remember last night, it's just one big wonderful lesbianic blur.
He called my vagina a rainforest. This is coming from a guy whose pubes are longer than his dick.
Bad news. I baked you a cake and one of my fingernails is missing.
Should I feel guilty that my husband is cheating on his girlfriend with me? I mean, we're not divorced yet so I still have dibs, right?
Really uncomfortable with the level of eskimo brotherhood at this family reunion
I need to stop agreeing to hang out with people when I'm drunk.
How does it feel to date your dad?
Day one of being single and I've came three times. I can get used to this.
Finally finished unpacking shit from school n found a bra with no idea whose it is... I miss college so much it hurts sometimes
Whats spookier? Halloween or waking up to a drunk text from your ex telling you how awesome you are at 2am
Is it just me or did we have a heart to heart talk while you were naked last night?
You’re welcome stay at my house. But, you gotta piss in the toilet
Randomize
