Dude, she had a vegina. I felt like Indiana Jones cutting a path through the jungle.
Haha, just learned changing others iPhone passcodes is fun while drunk but not fun the next morning.
pretty sure that I broke my nose during sexting. Life is grand.
I started drinking at 10.30am. Ive got a solid buzz, ive decided holidays are to be treated like gamedays
Canada: barely better than America at a sport they invented.
Pre-St Patricks Day Log: Threw up across a 14ft radius, this is why the irish dont drink tequila
I wish i had more things to dip in ranch... That's the most stoner thing i've ever said
He was still there when I ran half naked into my suitemate's room where she was skyping her boyfriend and I started singing I JUST HAD SEEEEX
I told her I didn't have a condom. She then sized me with her thumb and finger and tossed me a large. Then I asked her to marry me.
His dad gives me dirty looks whenever I come over though. I think it's because I eat his food and have sex with his son.
So as a result of a tragic manscaping accident I've had to shave all the hair off of my legs. The result is... not great
I think we have it figured out.. She's my wife when she's here and gives me advise on how to get ass when she's 1500 miles away.
Just got home from work. I'm going to change into sweats for a while before I have to wear normal pants to the party like I promised.
Can u pick up some lemons on the way? I have Tequila and a sore throat..I need them for both
His nipple licking is glorious
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