You just took 4 shots. 2 of them were maple syrup.
He's telling me stories about how he made out with a 14 yr old when he was 22. I'm going home.
The walk of shame is far, far worse on crutches.
It's sad that I have started checking out the ring finger before the rack...I'm getting old
Two girls are doing the worm relatively well on the bar floor after the fact I just saw one puke in the trash
I never thought I would say the free bottle of grey goose was the problem but it was
Quite frankly, I consider the fact that I'm NOT pregnant one of my greatest achievements and I'd like to chronicle that ongoing success. I'm going to post pictures of me at "0 weeks" once a week.
Ladystoner tip: if eyes are bloodshot, lime green eyeliner makes them appear less red. its basic artt.
Its funny that for once I get home and I'm just as high as my parents are.
We tried the hang n bang, remember? You ruined it by crying and telling me you loved me while blowing me.
I've drank literally 19 beers and am still good. Utah is worthless
If I had a penis, I'd want to put it in you. And I'd treat you with respect and pay for your drinks.
Sharknado 3 is going to bring us to alcoghol poisonign
I think next time I give head I'm gonna try making the chewbacca noise.
I look forward to it
He really is. Owns his own house and has more than one towel!
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