4:25 am: I want you here. Ugh.
yo I wanna see you, bring that beard of yours
some girl in front of me in class just googled "hungover+throwing up blood"
The hookah bar is playing i'm on a boat. I believe in god again.
I am currently in the waffle making stage of highness
it took me 2 minutes to realize that it wasn't HER hand on my penis. First, and worst threesome ever..
Just thought i should tell someone im on the roof, if i pass out up here because no one found me, im behind the chimney
I just found a video on my phone from last night of you yelling, "you can't fuck me!" at least 20 times
the two person party stopped when i realized that he tried to throw a hammer at my head.
No, I am not setting up my roomba to clean up puke.
They play video games, go on acid trips, and in times of need, are willing to donate plasma together. COUPLE OF THE YEAR.
I NEED to see if his girl has a sister.
Hey that girl we tagged team last night invited me to her birthday on Facebook, remind me to be sick that day.
I like that you're Jewish, because you can rail me on Christmas Eve and it won't be weird.
I've come to the conclusion all of your awkward and complicated male encounters could easily be intercepted by a man town Yankee candle and a vibrator. Sleep on that tell me your thoughts in the morning. Sweet dreams.
We just had sex in the shed while having a conversation about cheeseburgers...so that's how my day is going
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