Your tits are I can't wait for
So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
I got drunk at the beach today. I got the word Badass! tatooed all the way across my foot. Probably a bad idea.
At one point last night while tipping the bartender you looked at him and said "If I need money later, I'm taking this back"
In my defense it was my birthday and I really wanted to do it.
I just banged two guys while dressed like an angel. I love this holiday.
i shall enjoy my approximately 2 hours of being sober today
yeah I'm sure your grandparents are the best but it's halloween. get a slutty costume and let's go ham.
Passing out on a toilet is not classy no matter what you're wearing. Not even a pea coat.
GOOD NEWS I CAN BRING THE VODKA IN MY LUGGAGE
found $100 my ex got arrested and I can receive free health insurance I gotta tell ya 2014 is really going to be my year
You let someone poor beer into my mouth off of a balcony. Best friend test failed.
Haahahahahahhaaa
Dicks are not precious.
i just ran butt naked down the hall and someone highfived me. i love college.
i just used your hair clip to unclog my bong. i miss you so much!
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