You just kept saying over and over "Tell me I won't do it." Someone finally told you you won't. You did. Welcome to herpes.
im keeping my plan b box as a souvenir of my first halloween weekend in college
all nice guys are gay and all hot ones are assholes
You're fat. Stop making excuses
Just lifeguarded a kid's party hungover so I could afford to go out drinking tonight. Circle of life shit goin on here.
Ugh. This is the type of hangover that all other hangovers want to grow up to be.
Haha...we lost by one cup to a guy w shitty facial hair. What makes me most mad abt the loss is that I could grow a better beard on my vag.
I asked him how his night was and he sent me a picture of a bottle of Ciroc with a bendy straw...
WE SHOULD FUCK TWO GUYS THAT LIVE TOGETHER
THAT WOULD BE SO CONVENIENT WE COULD CARPOOL
blowjobs from left handed girls are noticably better than from righties. these are the most important things I've learned this semester
literally just blacked in. Im watching what to expect when your expecting, eating pretzels and peanut butter, and I have someone's underwear around my neck.
My sexual preferences tend to require a degree in psychology to understand
He fell asleep during FOREPLAY. Sober!!!
Im outta here as soon as my phone charges wtf
Did you wake up next to Karina?
So that's her name
he bought me ice cream then took me home and fucked the shit outta me. you can't write this kinda romance.
she has no right to get mad at us for drinking during the wedding. she's the one that chose the bridesmaid dresses with pockets.
Randomize
