Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
do u usually make out with people before telling them your name???
Immaculate conception is definitely the most boring way to conceive a child.
took out my tampon, fucked him, and put a new one back in all before he realized I was on my period. beat that one bitch.
shes still asleep dad put a lobster in her bathroom
One of my preschool students told me today that it's not pollution that makes the water in lakes unclean. It's the hobos. I was absolutely speechless. And just so proud.
He came in 20 minutes late for his final wearing plastic bags on his feet, and a tablecloth cape. Explain.
I'm in a waiting room at the hospital - and there's a dude here who is WAY too proud of his urine sample.
Pro: Drunk Portland Strip Club. Con: Monday morning hangover at work. Pro: boobs. Con: Sleep deprivation. The Pro's are winning.
I would agree. Add some coffee to the booze. It will cut down on sleep deprivation.
I fucked him on my yoga mat. Then we wake and baked and ate granola. So yes, you could say I found my center.
No, dude...I agree it's great in theory but I promise you that 80 drunk 21 year old sorority girls together in one room for formal is one of the worst drama filled ideas ever. Ever.
How many more of your relationships do I have to destroy before you realize sleeping with me isn't a good idea?
Remind me to tell you about this weekend with them. It was the least fun I have ever had drinking. And I have thrown up pork and beer through my nose on the side of the freeway.
Oh don't mind my cushion, I got plowed in the ass by a freight train last night
She was all for the threesome til I showed her a pic of my boyfriend. I think I should re-evaluate my life decisions.
Randomize