my professor just told me i smelt like a brewery infront of my whole class b4 my final presentation
She was so wet my fingers were literally pruney when I got done with her
We drove past his house blaring "Like a virgin" in the middle of the day. pretty sure he heard.
mom came into my room and asked to borrow some condoms. We have gotten to the point where it's not awkward anymore.
So far we've hooked up on a pool table, on a public bathroom counter and now in a little league baseball dugout. We haven't even made to a house yet.
Eating a muffin with a knife and fork. Hangovers have hit a new low.
I had a dream last night where I used the marginal product rule to figure out how much more hangover I got per sip of four loko, econ is taking over my life...
I pulled a muscle last night drunk dirty snapchatting him
Just set myself on fire a little bit. Made me think of you.
Yup, found the vomit in the side compartment. My bad.
I have this vague feeling that I was involved in a dance off with a homeless man?
I am pretty great at coffee and mistakes
I know that whole thing was awkward. Not worth the piece of cake.
The guy at the liqiour store just said "Wow haven't seen you in awhile, is everything okay?"
Thanks. I just smoked a bowl topless so I'm in heaven right now.
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