the only thing i knew about you is that u dated jordan and were potentially interested in a threesome
One of her kids, Dakota I think, got stuck in a ceiling fan and she had a fit, thats when she found the penis hat.
You made a list of reasons why you should be on fear factor. You came up with 2 reasons: "I like fear" and "I am fear"
The only reason I give him head is because I know i'll get a back rub.
wow.
But it's a REALLY good back rub.
I called him daddy. To his face. Somewhat sober. What more could I do?
I have reached the state of intoxication where it is now a requirement to sit while peeing.
it's a drink the shower water kind of morning ...
dude to be honest with you there is a used condom that ive just left on my floor for three days
you have got to get your shit together
Remember that girl that we found passed out in the dorm study room under a pile of money and jimmy johns wrappers? She's standing right on front of me.
There is what appears to be urine on the woman's bathroom sink. I just have so many questions right now.
I found it. now I'm going to the gym to be "healthy" or whatever that folklore is called.
I hope the lord has blessed you with many tampons, child.
Like, when both of your dads are drag queens you're bound to have some amazing Halloween makeup
All I know is I woke up with my apartment door wide open, naked, and I poured an entire bottle of Advil on my bed to sleep in.
I'm declaring this weekend Captain Morgan weekend
You declare every weekend Captain Morgan weekend...
You just don't understand... :'(
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